Emoting for others. Not easy

Although I'd been told, twice, that my fiction continued to sound like a journalist wrote it, I could not figure out exactly what that meant. And if you can't identify a problem, it's near impossible to address it.

I'd heard: tell us what the character is feeling. and Ramp up Alexa's attitude.

But actually accomplishing that had remained elusive.

A girlfriend of mine from my years in New York City, a published author and illustrator (of children's books) visited with me and my husband last week.

Finally, from what she said, I got a clue. Cecile wrote some suggestions in the margins of a printout. I saw them, understood why she wrote this or that. However, that didn't mean I felt like I could replicate what she did on the rest of the manuscript.

I even said to her, "It's like a gray box where I need to put in the character's feelings. And I can't find the door, or figure out how to pry my way into it."

She's known me for 20 years. She said, "Yes you do. You have understood the subtleties of my feelings, and known how others are inside. I've heard you."

Just by someone I could trust telling me, yes, you can do this: That cracked open the gray box.

I think. I hope.

Now feel I'm working on the third draft, the prose is so different -- what with all that emotion flowing all over the place.

Thank you, Cecile!

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Marketing with a Book Trailer

I opened up iMovie on my MacBook Air for the first time on Tuesday, and six hours later had a passable first attempt at a 45-second book trailer (like a movie trailer, only for a book).

Using instructional videos from YouTube (you can find almost anything there), I found it pretty darn easy. By version 5, I had the words matching the themes of the music.

It's not that I'm really good at this sort of thing. Just persistent, and game to try.

I will post it on June 11, the day I was aiming to publish Seeking Sirius. Instead of publishing, since the manuscript still needs work, I will start marketing -- in my newbie fashion.

Once the trailer is posted on YouTube, I'll put a link to it in this blog post. And this blog will be attached to my new Author's Website.

Truly, if you want to do something, search on the web, and you'll almost for sure find instructions on how to do it.  I love technology. And the way people like to help other people.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Will take the necessary time to get this right

My husband has a gift, probably from a previous lifetime, and honed, this lifetime, with thousands of hours of practice: he knows when the time is right for an action.

I was aiming at one of those moments, an auspicious time, to publish Seeking Sirius (self-publish, because I want to control that very moment of publishing). June 11. Way close.

Too close, I have decided. Auspicious or not.

Luckily, another time. About as good. Better in some ways. Is available. And the really good part, I get more time to make this story something you, and many other people, will hopefully be sorry is over, when you get to The End.

Now is the time for taking the prose to heights I hope to attain.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Integrate wisdom from the editor, and keep marching towards publish date

I received feedback from an editor (I paid him), who is a published author with a "shelf full of books." And the verdict is: a saleable novel.  (Wheeeeee!)

I asked for what would be necessary to take the story to its next level. And the gentleman provided me with basically, these suggestions:

Give the protagonist more attitude. so the reader can know what she's thinking and feeling

Also for the antagonist, (though in the 17 chapters I sent in, the REAL bad guy is not yet clear)

More description of the characters, then include periodically as markers along the way

At the beginning of each scene, give the reader more of a clue, where is the action and what's going on

Can do this, with more description -- include random but specific details (but not too much)

Use more of the senses (but not too much)


In a scene: first three paragraphs, establish the setting
then the meat of the scene, with minimal frills, except more experience through the senses


Dialogue: give the reader some anchor, especially in a long dialogue, by a note of how the speakers are interacting or reacting -- other than what they're saying.
IE: Run hand through the hair  
caress the stone column
gaze out over the ocean


I've been working like that irritating bunny in my garden, integrating all this. And no doubt, it makes the story come alive. Someday, I'll get to that bunny.

Still have a ridiculously close publishing date (to self-publish). But this is an "auspicious time." So, it's worth it to push.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Beats, Telling, and Point of View

Okay, my beta readers are sounding happy. No snoring from behind the screen, er, page.

But, I think I'm gonna have to do some changing.

Beats in dialogue: A beat in dialogue is that short or long pause that allows the reader's brain to keep up with the action. It avoids the machine-gun feeling of one line of dialogue after another, after another, after another.

Actually, I think I may generally get this into my dialogue.

Perhaps I learned about beats as a high school flute player. Keeping time with the tubas and the drums -- even when marching around on the football field in a too-big uniform -- may have stuck with me during the decades after. The ballet teacher in the loft at Broadway and 74th Street in NYC thought so. I was abysmal at doing the right steps at the right time. But I kept on the beat, every time, with SOME kind of step. The teacher's comment that I must have played an instrument (since I was hitting the beat) was small consolation for the looks of pity from the experienced dancers around me (since I was missing almost every type of step).

Anyway. Beats in dialogue: got it.


Telling vs. Showing: Now, I thought I was doing pretty well with this. But from reading "The First 50 Pages," by publisher Jeff Gerke, I'm thinking I'm gonna need to do some revising. Dang.

In particular, Gerke recommends absolutely no flashbacks in the first 50 pages. Agents and editors, supposedly, are likely to fling said manuscript across the room and then go over and jump up and down on it. And then, of course, reject it.

I'm guilty: The story has at least two flashbacks (Chapters 2 and 3), to a scene when the item that brings onto my heroine all the story's trouble is handed to her. Oy. Not sure what to do about this.


Point of View: In this second draft, I am introducing and fleshing out an important character much sooner. Essentially, the romance. This adds much-needed drama early on in the story.

I wrote the scene where the heroine meets the romance interest in alternating Points of View. I thought I got each part of the scene clearly separate. Actually, I was kind of proud of my cleverness.

But, supposedly the rule of thumb is: One Point of View per scene. All my pretty efforts, slashed and changed. Again, dang.

But this is the Writer's Way.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Beta Readers; Learning from the pros

In searching around for how published authors run their websites and blogs, I came across a woman who invites most anybody to be a beta reader -- to read the first or second draft simply by signing up on her website (also a nifty manner for accumulating an email list).

I'm not that brave, yet. But I do, now, have a few trusted friends reading the chapters almost as I produce them. I am keeping a few chapters ahead.

I am working on the first story, "Seeking Sirius," which was badly in need of a rewrite in the first part, because of the risk of people dying of boredom.

The rewrite is moving along nicely, I think. No beta readers have perished.



Something I like about this whole fiction-writing experience is all the generous support of other writers available. Some free. Some paid. But all offered. Not hoarded, so that only their books get published.

I've learned a huge amount -- all the easier because I made the mistakes, so can recognize when an answer comes my way.

One example is a recent decision to move a scene. Actually, kind of turn it into a spoiler.

But by moving this one scene, from right after the climax, to comprising the whole of Chapter 1, I think -- I hope -- the tease will make readers want to read on, to find out HOW did that happen.

I learned about this technique from a book by James Scott Bell ("Revision and Self-Editing for Publication, 2nd ed").  And was prompted to use this particular technique, out of the many in his book, by my father, who read in 2012 about 300 novels. He's retired, and a speed reader. And he's also a pretty good judge of what works.

He will be a beta reader for me, at some point. We've agreed to be gentle about that, me being his daughter, and all that. But, Dad, I heard you, and I acted on one of your comments.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Princess: Out --- Mystic Amazon: In

After several days of thought and debate (with my husband), it has become clear that Alexa is not a Princess, a Maiden, shy and/or self-absorbed.

Frankly, as I've written her -- particularly in the first part of the first novel -- Alexa is a boring ninny.

She gets better, at the right moments. But how she does that is not clear.

And, since Alexa is entrusted with a very important package, She Has Got to Change.


Actually, not so difficult. She just needs to take over the dynamic things that I assigned to other characters.

And become a, ta-daaa, a    Mystic/Amazon!

Of course, that changes details and dynamics.

But that's part of the Second Draft.

That's me, sitting in front of the computer, chewing my nails, double-checking my notes.

Second Draft on Two Stories

So, now there are two. Two stories, one a followup to the first, to be whipped into second draft.

In my imagination, pitching the first or second story to an agent, I realized I am waaayyyyy far from a good short summation.

Reason: characters, in particular the main protagonist, needs to be sharpened.

After considering for a couple of days, I've realized that the protagonist I began writing as a reflection of myself (something that probably every newbie fiction writer does) should REALLY be a "princess."

For the endings of both stories to make sense, the protagonist needs to begin as a bit of a "maiden" or "princess."

I am so NOT a princess, that this will prove to be a nice challenge.

It also gives me a clue on how to inject a good dose of drama into the first third of the first story.

52,097 words: 30 Days: First Draft through Climax

Just finished the climax of this story for NaNoWriMo.   Something I've noticed, if you include a word like "climax" in the title or body of a blog post, you get a few more hits. No mystery there, eh.

Zoomed past 50,000 words on the 29th. My fingers got into a groove, and more than 3000 words flowed.

As stated earlier, all pretense to literary excellence was abandoned in this first draft.

But. It's done. In 30 days.

Haven't produced that much writing since my days at Bloomberg. And without an editor in the background, yelling for a new quote.

My husband got me a framed and mounted Certificate of Completion. He's the best a girl could ever want.

Have abandoned the idea of literary excellence

NaNoWriMo's tag line is:

30 Days and Nights of Literary Abandon

For much of this month, I have edited my efforts as I go, ruthlessly cutting substandard words.

Somewhen recently, I abandoned the idea of literary excellence.

I'm pretty much just slapping words at the page. The manuscript has become the equivalent of a sketch in charcoal.  At times, a not very accomplished sketch in charcoal.

I am taking it on faith that there is a possibility that I will be able, later, to work this rough sketch as far in the direction of a refined oil painting as whatever talent I have will allow.

If I have any talent.

I'm wondering about that.

On the other hand. I can produce words.  Now have more than 40,000 words in the manuscript.

Aiming at that 50,000 before midnight on Friday.

Husband has been informed that it's his job to go get lunch every day this week.

NaNoWriMo: 3000 words behind

This is a blog about writing about Enlightenment developing via a life of adventure.

I just returned from a four-day trip, to teach a course of the Transcendental Meditation technique, arguably an activity that has everything to do with the development of Enlightenment.

In my excellent adventure, I fell behind in my writing.

My husband drove the two, five hour trips to Kansas City, where I've been teaching TM for seven and a half years (>250 trips during those years). And I wrote in the car, both ways. We stayed four days and three nights, and I wrote in the odd 10 minute spaces between various meetings, or shopping, or visits with friends.

We did this trip in about the shortest amount of time possible. And I still fell behind by about 3000 words.

I admit that when I'm at home, I have a rather flexible schedule. I now am REALLY impressed with anyone who accomplishes the NaNoWriMo goal and also has a full-time job. Whatever those people are doing, they are way ahead of me. More power to them. They're also probably way closer to Enlightenment than me....

Today is November 19. I have until November 30 to complete the 50,000 words.

I remain optimistic. Maybe that's an enlightened outlook?

NaNoWriMo: No Idea if this will flow

NaNoWriMo: 50,000 words in 30 days = first draft of a novel

Being a perfectionist, I find a nagging worry that the scenes I keep throwing at the page (gotta get those 1666 words/day done) may end up producing -- just a series of scenes. Will they flow, keep the reader engaged from one scene to another, wanting to find out what happens next, all the way to the end? (oh, please, oh, please)

I read to my husband. He loves it. Of course, he has no bias, at all.

I take the, probably stupid, chance of reading to someone out of the family. My question: "Does it sound like a book? One you'd read off the bookstore shelf?"

I even offered to read a scene at my husband's birthday party. Yes, I did. Pity me, please.

Nobody took me up on my offer. My husband has very wise friends.

As a journalist, I'd produce 1666 words in a day, in a finished news piece, easy. Of course, when one has an editor yelling "where is that quote!" you find the way to locate the data, to fit into the sentences, to tell the news, to make the editor happy, to keep your job.

Now, I pick up a pen and notebook, during the 15 minute break in a performance. Or I sit down, open the computer and try to figure out what NEXT should I do to my protagonist, because I now realize there needs to be SOMETHING happen, before I can get her to that next important turning point.

It's harrying. It's exhilarating.

NaNoWriMo: Relentless flow of words

Day number 7, of 30, with a goal of 1650 words per day.

Without a detailed outline, I can't see how anyone would complete this task. Unless they're willing to accept filler and tangential musings, which if that's how someone is able to write their story--more power to them!

Me, I'm doing it the hard way (of course), and editing into a fairly cohesive manuscript as I go along.

My goal is to produce those 1650 words each day, since if I miss a day, then the next -- or some other day -- will have to be twice or thrice as productive.

Honestly, I find myself too often in the evening checking the word count, and going for one more sentence. Then checking again. And another sentence. How much closer to the goal?

For example, today, I feel like I've written a lot. But the page demands 660 more words.

Okay, I can go back to my outline, and see the next goal, so my characters better get cracking on this scene to fulfill that goal.

In my first story, there was a six-month period when I wrote nothing, because I had no idea of what I should write in order to get to the end.

In the end, I am assured, it simply comes down to putting one more word on the page. Just like walking through life, I'm guessing. One step at a time.

Character, Theme, Structure; New Mac!

Just a few days away from the 31 days of writing the first draft of a novel. About 19% of the people who begin NaNoWriMo accomplish this original goal, although a much higher percentage get much further along in the projects than otherwise, I suspect.

Time will tell if I am part of the 19%

In these days, I have been hard at work outlining this story (a new experience, since I had very little idea of how to do this, in regards to my first book-length story). And have found that Larry Brooks' StoryFix site and his "Story Engineering" book to be tremendously helpful. Many thanks to Larry.

This process is about:

Finetuning the characters -- particularly the heroine. Alexa aspires to be bold, but she's shy. So, how to make her really likable for readers? That would be story arc, and a good deal of work to accomplish in a smooth, believable manner.

Identifying the Theme(s) -- something that could be allowed to just appear on their own. But I'd like my stories to connect to the reader's heart -- or gut -- as well as give them a good time and giggle along the way. A theme that resonates and develops and reaches the mountaintop: THAT's what I'm talkin' about.

Delivering the action -- at just the right moment in the novel's structure. The more I study and hearken back onto good books and movies I've known, the more I see that certain turns of plot at certain points in the story are crucial for the reader's visceral experience. They are markers along the way that show the story is heading in a direction that will make sense.

An aside note: I just ordered a new computer! My current Macintosh is seven years old, is run by a pre-Intel chip (i.e. speaks "Japanese" when every other computer speaks "French" or "English"), and is no longer supported by most Internet browsers. I love using things for a very long time (my Toyota is at 243,000 miles), but sometimes it's just time.  So, a MacBook Air is on its way to me -- hopefully to last another seven years.

Outline Plot for 2nd Book for NaNoWriMo; thanks

My first efforts at fiction were like jumping into the pool, and figuring out how to get to the other side. It's a technique, that took two years.

This time, since I will (in order to "win" in NaNoWriMo) complete a first draft with at least 50,000 words, within the 31 days of November, I am trying another technique: outline first, write second.

In these last few months, I have taken a few writing courses via the Internet. For example, the Writer's Digest is a a very good source of guidance.

I have a growing sense that there is a renaissance in the craft of story telling. Perhaps after decades of people playing the passive game of just watching television or movies, now there is more interest in reading. Maybe Harry Potter really did have a magical effect, other than what requires the support of Hollywood.

Anyway, there is now a LOT of superior support out there for writers. The Creative Penn, K.M. Weilland, and StoryFix by Larry Brooks are several that stand out, at least for me.

Larry Brooks, in particular, has been massively helpful in helping me understand the technology of a gripping story, the type we all know -- mostly by watching our favorite movies.

Brooks' details on what types of information for the reader should come at which point in the story (since we all feel comfortable with certain turns of events at certain times) seem to be VERY helpful.

Of course, the proof will be in the pudding, or the reading.

Challenge with First Draft? Write the Sequel: NaNoWriMo

As I wrote the first draft of my story, the characters and line of logic became stronger and more focused. And, the beginning third got left behind.

Come up with more drama, less prose, and that first part stands a chance of keeping the reader's attention.

Probably not a good idea, however, to introduce a completely new source of drama in the first part. On the other hand, I could move some sources of tension into the story sooner.

A decision must be made. Is one of the current bad guys really bad, or is he just inept? If he's really bad, then he would be capable of the action I planned for him in the second book of this trilogy. But if he's inept, then he fits the need for the first book -- and all badness focuses on the one, true evil guy.

My solution: write the second book. Then I will know with certainty the threads that must be laid in the first book.

NaNoWriMo, or more specifically NoNaNoWriMo (November National Novel Writing Month), is close. Can I do a first draft in one month? Gulp. It took me two years for this first draft. Nothing ventured out onto the NaNoWriMo limb, no potential leap into the multiple book realm gained.

I'm in.

5000 words out

This is my first effort with fiction. Journalism I know: Fiction was a complete mystery.

Until I got about half-way through the first draft.

Then, the flow began, and my completely uncritical spouse began to say, that sounds great! (always good to have a completely uncritical listener, at first) Even considering the source of this input, my gut says the story became, by the end, way better than the words I put on the screen early in the process.

In my own life, I work to keep everything smooth and drama free. And that's pretty much how I wrote that first third of the story. Now in the second draft, even I am scanning over vast tracts of boring verbiage. Ergo, 5000 words are exited from the manuscript, all from the first third of the story.

Now, I must figure out how to make the first third of the story as interesting as the last third.

Drama. More drama. And not just any drama. The kind that builds into the fascinating stuff near the end.

Perhaps introduce certain concepts/people earlier in the story -- or if I must, smooth in new ideas -- to produce the surprises at the end.

And those fascinating details I thought would be really cool to include but just didn't make sense later? Tickle them out so no one is the wiser.

Like weaving a tapestry, and go back to add new colors at the beginning to predict those that appear by the end. Also, extricate useless colors all along the way, one stitch at a time.

Climax Achieved! Whoo Hoo!

First draft of the story is, as of 10:26 pm tonight, officially written up to and including the Climax!

Moon walk. Slam the football down in the end zone. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

I have been thinking and planning this part of the story -- I almost am willing to call it a book, now -- since before I wrote the first words of the beginning.

It has morphed, changed locations, and changed characters, but always with the same outcome.

At one point, this evening, I was running around outside with the stopwatch on my phone, timing how many seconds it would take to get from point A, to point B, and then to point C. The raccoons, I'm confident, are convinced that the human living here is quite nuts.

That total time, you see, had to mesh with what was happening in the shack, with this person going to this corner, and that person going to that spot, and the like.

After I clicked the keys for the last word on the document, I called my husband, who is on a business trip and who got up early this morning and has been driving to meeting after meeting after meeting all day.

I read the length of the last scene. I put all the drama into every shout and whisper. I performed brilliantly.

And he fell asleep before I finished.

He assured me when I woke him up that it wasn't because of the quality of the prose. The climax was good for him, too. (tee-hee)

Home stretch to the Climax!

Alexa is back on Earth, and racing to the climax. And I am scrambling to find that perfect wave to carry her -- and the reader -- to the pinnacle.

Very exciting. Yes, it is just the "crummy" first draft. But this is the FIRST instance for me to approach completion of the "crummy" first draft.

Whereas on the space station the workings of the scene came down to physical placement (rock-outcropping post), in this scene or series of scenes the element of urgency comes down to timing of events. The situation that creates the pressure is an event that will happen in x days, then only x hours, then only x minutes: i.e., time.

The setting is in India, basically because India is timeless. One of the main characters is Indian. But the country also provides a fairly predictable societal location in the future, more so than, say, the ever-changing society of North America. If the India of now is very much like it was  hundreds of years ago, it will probably have very similar recognizable elements even many years into the future.

I have been to India twice. My second visit included a race to get somewhere before a certain event, and I admit to borrowing elements from that visit (just like I may someday include memories of Paris, London, or Sao Paulo, or even Bartlesville, Oklahoma).

Anyway, I began this journey for Alexa about two years ago, and she and I are finding our way together to the ordained climax. I don't know how ordained is my own path, but whatever it is, I'm having a rollicking good time discovering it.

Fully Into the Chase; On Alexa's way back to Earth

Alexa Jane just took off from the space station, above Earth, barely in time to avoid the bad guys. And she's finally about to return to her home planet, though 950 years after she left it.

The story is now fully into the Chase Scene, rushing toward the climax, and finally finding out why the heck the tiny little crystal is so important.

As part of the process of writing for the first time a book-length story, getting to this point is truly exciting. (I still avoid defining this as a book, until it's at least through the second draft.) In addition to reading to my husband each new scene that rushes onto the page, I have also taken to getting certain friends on the cell phone and reading to them. Sometimes they are appreciative, sometimes not.

One sticking point that had to be solved; where on Earth should she go? I mean, as the writer I can give her any clue/indication I want. I just have to decide where to put her.

This involves:
Are some candidate cities under water, at this point, because of global warming?
What countries/cities would be important enough, 950 years from now, to harbor the people involved?
Where could a so-called space-port be located?
How far from the landing pad, to the action, do I settle this space-port?
It probably shouldn't be in the middle of a metropolitan area -- of now or the likely future.
But I've got to get her into action PDQ

I have some ideas, on each point. And if the rest of the story is any indication, more details will present themselves as they appear on the page.