Emoting for others. Not easy

Although I'd been told, twice, that my fiction continued to sound like a journalist wrote it, I could not figure out exactly what that meant. And if you can't identify a problem, it's near impossible to address it.

I'd heard: tell us what the character is feeling. and Ramp up Alexa's attitude.

But actually accomplishing that had remained elusive.

A girlfriend of mine from my years in New York City, a published author and illustrator (of children's books) visited with me and my husband last week.

Finally, from what she said, I got a clue. Cecile wrote some suggestions in the margins of a printout. I saw them, understood why she wrote this or that. However, that didn't mean I felt like I could replicate what she did on the rest of the manuscript.

I even said to her, "It's like a gray box where I need to put in the character's feelings. And I can't find the door, or figure out how to pry my way into it."

She's known me for 20 years. She said, "Yes you do. You have understood the subtleties of my feelings, and known how others are inside. I've heard you."

Just by someone I could trust telling me, yes, you can do this: That cracked open the gray box.

I think. I hope.

Now feel I'm working on the third draft, the prose is so different -- what with all that emotion flowing all over the place.

Thank you, Cecile!

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Integrate wisdom from the editor, and keep marching towards publish date

I received feedback from an editor (I paid him), who is a published author with a "shelf full of books." And the verdict is: a saleable novel.  (Wheeeeee!)

I asked for what would be necessary to take the story to its next level. And the gentleman provided me with basically, these suggestions:

Give the protagonist more attitude. so the reader can know what she's thinking and feeling

Also for the antagonist, (though in the 17 chapters I sent in, the REAL bad guy is not yet clear)

More description of the characters, then include periodically as markers along the way

At the beginning of each scene, give the reader more of a clue, where is the action and what's going on

Can do this, with more description -- include random but specific details (but not too much)

Use more of the senses (but not too much)


In a scene: first three paragraphs, establish the setting
then the meat of the scene, with minimal frills, except more experience through the senses


Dialogue: give the reader some anchor, especially in a long dialogue, by a note of how the speakers are interacting or reacting -- other than what they're saying.
IE: Run hand through the hair  
caress the stone column
gaze out over the ocean


I've been working like that irritating bunny in my garden, integrating all this. And no doubt, it makes the story come alive. Someday, I'll get to that bunny.

Still have a ridiculously close publishing date (to self-publish). But this is an "auspicious time." So, it's worth it to push.

By Laure Edwards Reminick

Princess: Out --- Mystic Amazon: In

After several days of thought and debate (with my husband), it has become clear that Alexa is not a Princess, a Maiden, shy and/or self-absorbed.

Frankly, as I've written her -- particularly in the first part of the first novel -- Alexa is a boring ninny.

She gets better, at the right moments. But how she does that is not clear.

And, since Alexa is entrusted with a very important package, She Has Got to Change.


Actually, not so difficult. She just needs to take over the dynamic things that I assigned to other characters.

And become a, ta-daaa, a    Mystic/Amazon!

Of course, that changes details and dynamics.

But that's part of the Second Draft.

That's me, sitting in front of the computer, chewing my nails, double-checking my notes.